I have spent the majority of my life believing people I probably shouldn’t. From father figures who offered false guidance to mother figures who were nearly as bad as mine was, minus the serial sexual sadism of course. I always believe first, and investigate only when that horrible feeling in my gut has reached a point where the conclusion is all but known in full detail.
So, I am there once again.
However this time, with the help of a Love, a Dragon, an Air Traffic Controller and a Duck, I will not waste away thinking of how stupid I am as I am searching for the appropriate Latin quote to pin to the bleeding heart on my sleeve so all may know my pain. No, this time I am going to take action beforehand and make sure that there is simply nowhere for me to fuck it all up. Sometimes silence is the only option left to the mind of a soul who wants to believe that sanity is still in their grasp.
This has been bothering me for weeks now that I have sat down and thought about it clearly. I have made a decision and for good or ill, the actionable things will be take care of by the end of the day and the rest will be left to wither and rot on the vine.
I know this isn’t what the three of you who read this regularly want to read and I am sorry, but I have to look at the internal things before I can even think of taking care of the outside world.
So, for the time being, I will stay here with my Ducks and my Tribe. I will see the Golden Light, listen for the Drums, look into the Fire, walk away from the Darkness and remember impossible happinesses and unexpected joys that I have been blessed with.
See you when I see you.
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