Ironically, as I sit here at a quarter to one on a Saturday morning writing this, I have already been asleep for as long as I will be for the rest of the evening. I had a heavy-duty migraine come and punch me in the face about 5 yesterday afternoon and it knocked me out, nearly literally, until about a half an hour ago. While no one wants to say they are up for the day before it is an hour old, I actually got a decent amount of sleep and while not feeling totally rested, I sure as hell feel a lot better than when I laid down awhile ago.

It is nice and dark down here, two of my three children are sound asleep within ten feet of me and it is so very quiet. The chaos of one day forgotten as the buildup for the next slowly gathers form. Normally, due to the rather…gregarious…nature of the neighborhood I live in there is the beat of the music, the cacophony of voices and cars constantly moving back and forth down our little finger bone of a street here on the west side.

Social distancing has thankfully taken root in at least a large subset of the population here and they are doing precisely what it is they should be doing, absolutely and nothing. We stay inside, we stay safe, we #FlattenTheCurve and all the various hashtags that, while annoying to some now, hopefully, will become a memory of a darker time and not a constant thing that we are always shouting into the barren streets around us.

I never knew precisely how much I would miss outside. Y’all know I am nearly agoraphobic as it is. I suppose it is when I was told that I couldn’t, so at least shouldn’t, go outside that I realized how good I have it in that arena. I may not love to go out and do the things, but I COULD go out and do the things and now I am here and all I want to do is to do stupid things like go grab a drink in a bar with some friends, visit my sweetest people and go to the grocery store without hoping I don’t breathe in at the wrong moment from the wrong person.

I have been waxing poetic and getting philosophical about this for weeks now not because I am some great fucking guru of knowledge, but because if I don’t talk about it in the way my brain needs to talk about it I am going to have hundreds of those airplanes inside my skull crashing seconds after they take off and I am pretty sure that the absolute last thing I need right now is a complete nervous breakdown, strikes me as decidedly inconvenient. So I sit and I write and I keep my mind way from existentialism as much as I can and stay rooted in the world that I have decided to call real, even if that world involves some stories where I make up the laws of reality.

Speaking of which, my clever segue will take us to a story based thing.

I am very happy with what I have produced, at least in the fiction department, in the last few weeks and will continue working on things. My production will either skyrocket in the next week because the Eldest doesn’t even have distance learning, or it will plummet for the exact same reason. I am hoping for the former, but truthfully would not be upset by the latter.

So maybe I will go find a thing to do now.


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