First We Talk About My Love Of The Sea…

There are days where you want the world to stop and allow you to take a single, deep, refreshing breath, but all it does is swamp you with wave after wave. You know you are going to be okay regardless of the amount of water that hits you, you still fear that fear of drowning regardless. The panic of the water filling you slowly takes over your rational mind until it is all you can do to think the most primitive thoughts and try as hard as you can to stay just above the surface of the rising tide.

Today it is not the water that is rising, simply a desire to get the fuck out of the water completely. However, fear is defined as the imminence of danger and as far as I know, there is no danger. There are heartbreak and tragedy, worthlessness, and fire, but my Goddess there is no fear involved in this at all and I will be damned if I am driven from the element of my soul by the very thought of an emotion that is not present. I will swim in the water, I will submerge my mind and heart in it and silence the voices of doubt, derision, and disaster and when I bring my head back out of the water I will take that breath that stings so very good and move the fuck one to the ones after that, as everyone and anyone do.

So We Stay On Land A Moment…

Do you feel the firmament of it? The solidity of it? That is the absoluteness of the convictions you need to maintain through the struggles that are coming. The water may be a harsh mistress that takes everything from you in an errant moment of your lack on concentration, but the land is the taskmaster that holds you to your purpose, that grinds you to the wheel you choose and makes you feel, even when you beg it to not be so cruel to you. The land is that which is not the fantasy you want to lose yourself in. The land is the real, the hurt, land hosts…well, we will get to Her in a moment.

The rock and the dirt, the dust that clogs your nose and ground that callouses your feet beings you back to where you need to be, where you should be. It does not care for you, it does not love you, it simply is there and you are forced to acknowledge it, or ignore it at your absolute greatest peril. As the weight of it crushes you it will not even look at you as you are destroyed, it will simply grind on because that is the very nature of what it is to be the land, the earth, that which is solid.

Then We Warm Ourselves With Fire…Briefly

The magma is where my mind is the most uncomfortable. I can accept the fire of creation, the heat of passion, the sweeping firestorms of wrath, but the magma, the fire that sits forever and slowly takes away as it adds infinitesimally slower. The anticipation of the disastrous that cannot be avoided. It alone can destroy all the others. Boiling the water, liquefying the land, poisoning the sky. It is ever-present in its absolute destruction and I shy away from it because to embrace it, to embrace the chaotic change it embodies, is to deny myself at the very core of who I am.

We Ignore The Sky Today, It’s Message Is Not For Us, Instead, We Turn To The Secretive One…

The Darkness is that place where the manifestations of the deepest Id are made flesh. It is where the bravest walk unafraid and the weak tremble before the Void of it all. It is a place we all have, we all go to, we all dread in our ways. We try and run to the Light of Reason and logic but time and time again the malingering Fears of the Unknown, the Memories of Pain, the Dread of the Pasts we have been through.

Now We Summarize, Minify, Logic Proof, and Custom Cut…

I think that there is time enough for us to flit and fly through the Fantasy of air another time I can promise it. Today I stop. Not pause but stop. I stop and think of what Was, what Is, Would Will Be, and more importantly, What Can Never Be Again. I have seen the Alpha, now it is time for the Omega.

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