I love the medical community in my city, I truly do. The hospitals, Children’s and otherwise, are top-notch and because of them and the wonderful work they do not only are my two youngest sons progressing and healthy, they are literally alive because of them.

However, like all large hospital complexes, there is an ocean of bureaucracy to swim through. Now, anyone who has lived here for a few years knows the numbers to call, when not to call and even when to ask specific questions. I am okay with bureaucracy, it is a needed evil in an otherwise wonderful place.

My youngest duck needs to go in for a procedure on Friday morning. Cool, I have know about this for a bit and all is ready to go. I get a call today, keep that word in mind in the next bit, that a full physical needed to be completed before said procedure can commence.

Being an adult who can deduce, I told them that I would call the procedure people and reschedule for next week and we can get the ball rolling there.

No.

I was told I would be there tomorrow and that the procedure would happen on Friday with no delay. I was not asked things, I was told things by this otherwise delightful middle age practitioner of the nursing arts.

I was told I needed to be there at five in the morning for prep.

Excuse me? Why was this not brought up when I scheduled said procedure for six hours later? See, I have two other children and I can’t just bail on them in the morning because that is when you need me there. I need you to work with my schedule and everyone can be happy at the end of the day.

After much garment rendering, hand-wringing and protestations, I finally got the procedure moved up a few hours so that I could get the other Ducks off to school and be able to get him dressed and ready to go, get there via Uber, and make sure I was where I was supposed to be when was supposed to be there.

Fixed…Right?

No.

I then got a call not a few moments before sitting down to smash buttons on my computer to make this thing you are reading here that while the times are fine, I should plan to be there at least six hours due t the “immediacy and abruptness of my demands.”

Excuse me?

My what?

I will cut you.

So I called more people, who talked to other people, who nudged someone’s boss and finally I got the thing settled, and it is exactly what the fuck they told me it was the first time and they could have handled this, but no, they made me go and get all growly with some poor dude who has no the fuck idea what is going on and doesn’t want the dude to yell anymore.

Growl.

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