Cold. For The Love Of The Goddess I Want It To Be Fucking Cold!

Cold The Heart Can Be

So, the time of year that most people hate is upon us and I am in a weird situation because of it.

Let me explain.

I was raised in the San Fernando and Antelope Valleys respectively. One is THE valley when you are talking about California and the stereotypes, the other is the high desert of the Mojave and, as you can imagine neither of these places gets a great deal of cold. I will say it snowed in the desert once when I was a kid, terrified me to tell you the truth. Other than that, it was California weather. Warm, no humidity, a breeze always blowing.

When we moved here, hell the day we moved here, there was a snowstorm and I was completely enchanted with it and I loved it. Not the snowball fights and sledding or any of those things. No, I loved the fact that I could simply get so cold that nothing would bother me anymore and I apparently was one of a very small amount of people to do this.

Fast forward a few decades and Ia m the guy in sneakers, shorts, and a t-shirt in February with snow up to my knees happily scraping the ice off of the car and brushing the snow off of all the things. I love the cold and it loves me. The few of you delightful souls who have been (cursed?) to sleep next to me know that I run about fifteen degrees warmer than most people. I have my air conditioning on constantly and, other than power outages and dead units, my air conditioner has been on since the day Naomi died. So, four and a half years now?

It helps me think, it makes my migraines seem less severe, it is a personal little cave the Bear can hide in when he wants to be where other people simply do not want to be at all. I can write in there, record a few things, enjoy the chaotic calm of the air conditioner and the noise machine next to my bed to fall into a sleep from time to time.

This year is different though. This year it is just miserable and I don’t like it and it puts me in quite the spot because I have nothing else I like about the weather other than the cold. Have you seen my fat ass in July? I sweat like a horse after a run and feel as much energy as the appropriate metaphor would have described here. The winter is when I get to be me, alive and happy and laughing and I am just not feeling it and it is a concerning thing. Maybe I just wait, right? I mean, it’s only in the high thirties today, maybe I can wait until the single digits and see what there is to see then.

Yes, I know I forgot about our resident priest yesterday, a more pressing writing need occurred and it will again today I think, just know I have not forgotten about James and Elisabet, not by a long shot. Siobhan and Victoria will definitely be on the menu today, hopefully, we can get to James and, way in the back of the lineup, Midas and The Assemblage. So much writing so little time and all of that.

RAWRZ

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