Oh. No. You. Fucking. Didn’t.
So, the facts first, these are indisputable and very well documented in the cases it is questioned.
I am a single parent of three children.
Of these three children, two of them have physical and mental special needs that require absolute care at all times.
I have been diagnosed with chronic migraine with status migrainosus. Meaning I get headaches nearly every day and those headaches last longer than 72 hours.
I am indeed unemployed for all of the above reasons.
Now, let us get to what you said.
“You sit on your unemployed of purpose fat ass all day and collect money from the government for your kids, who don’t deserve it, that you spend on yourself.”
That there is the direct quote, right?
I am not going to use any more foul language than I did in the first sentence of this, I am going to use this as a teaching opportunity for those who may be confused on a few different levels.
So, let’s start with the single parent thing. You apparently have forgotten the story, so I think you deserve a little background, for reference if nothing else. Forgive me if this comes across as flippant, but this is what it is going to be.
My wife Naomi died. Wife. Mother of the aforementioned children. Died. Ergo, I, the parent that is not the one who died, am now the only parent of the children. Thus the term, single parent. As you can no doubt imagine, this is not a choice that I would have made if I was given the power to make it. My Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD have only been made worse by the love of my Universe dying, so that, in my opinion, pretty much wraps up that part of the lesson.
Secondly, we get to the special needs of my children.
As I mentioned, I literally have a decade and a half of medical records, releases, diagnoses and the like to substantiate the claim that my children are disabled. You have literally taken him out of the wheelchair. If I was wealthy enough for this hypothetical ruse you are suggesting, then I would do away with the props, I love money above all else in your theory, so why bother with suggestive props when I can get away with pure deceit instead? The day after Naomi died you sat and watched me change the enteral feeding tube because he had caught it and it yanked out. You watched him scream as the fear of it hurting, which I may add it does not for those wondering, as I put it in I sang him lullabies and cried because I couldn’t use words like Mommy anymore.
Lastly, I am going to combine the two last bullet points from above as they are innately tied together and there is no way to separate them without it getting weirdly hyper-specific.
I had my very first migraine just after the car accident. I am sure I had bad headaches before that, but the accident is the thing that sealed it. I am pretty sure the two are actually unrelated, but it is an awesome frame of reference to look back on and remember for date purposes. I digress.
I was first medicated for them many years later after we had moved into the city and they had got to the point where I would vomit for hours when they would peak with things like weather changes, pressure changes, stress and my own vices of drinking and smoking. I will not list the drugs they gave me, you can read all about those here if you really want to. I am more than happy to discuss triptan and ergot alkaloid classes of abortive migraine medications at length if you are int he mood to sleep very soundly that night. Needless to say, they tend not to give them to people who may be faking things as you have implied in the past. Plus, as an addition, I am not a fan of destroying my liver, but the Aleve regimen I take every twelve hours helps a little and it takes just enough of an edge off so I can do the things I enjoy doing, like writing the words you are reading now. Plus, as a third point, they are giving me a drug called Ondansetron, you may have heard it called Zofran for nausea. They use it on chemotherapy patients a great deal to ease their symptoms. I am not only on the largest safe does that they have available for me, but they are nearly completely ineffective. I add that because spending three hours a day vomiting, sometimes blood because of ulcers, is not a pleasant way to lie I imagine.
So, to tie this in with working.
I cannot be under certain lights, almost ever, without blinding pain. The aforementioned nausea puts a damper on productivity. near constant exhaustion is not indicative a good workplace attitude. Not being able to stand the heat, sunlight, even remote dehydration or staring at anything that isn’t a few feet away, as this computer is hooked to the TV as I type I may add. All of these things make it impossible for me to work almost anywhere. From customer service, which was my bread and butter for most of my life, to simple manual labor. Tie that back in with special needs children and I can’t just disappear eight to ten hours a day and expect all to be well with the eldest watching the younger two. It is only not fair, it is not a safe thing. I am not knocking him at all, he is an incredible young man, but he is not their father, that is my honor.
I think that sums it all up…..Oh wait, the money,
Yes, there is money, Yes, I am responsible for it. I am the adult after all. I do what I can with the money to give them every possible thing that they could want above all of the things that they need. I do not sit and just throw the twenties at hookers and blow, and to think I would endanger my children by willful neglect or absenteeism is one of the more insulting things you have ever said to me, and there has been a pretty big list of those in the last 30 years.
So, I will end not quite as I began.
I have no educated you on what the truth is, if you choose to ignore that, then you, like the anti-vaxers and the war-hawks, are simply beyond my hope and I wish you the best in your endeavors or at least the ones that hurt no one externally.
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