There’s a lot that goes into a holiday. There’s a lot of things that are necessary for it to go either right or wrong. The people there, the thing being celebrated, liquor, food, friends, lighting, atmosphere, you get the point. However what they don’t teach you, because nobody teaches these things, is what it takes to make a holiday go instantly bad.
There’s a stereotypical drunk uncle that’s sitting there, or the creepy aunt with her weird political views, or the overbearing mother, the rude and evil father. These are all tropes that are applied to so many different things every day. However when it comes to a holiday, these things, blended with a few other things I’ll get you in a second, become this unstoppable, cyclonic force of fucked up hell.
Another thing about holidays that I, personally, don’t like, is the fact that there are expected behaviors on each one. For example, if you celebrate Easter, there’s obviously a religious element to it if you’re being an orthodox celebrator, or there is the child like glee of devouring candy if you are just doing it because chocolate is really cheap that time of year.
The obvious ones in this case are Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday parties, and almost any of the religious observances.
I have no idea how to get to the point I’m trying to make, so I’m going to battle on for a little bit more.
There is nothing in the world I love more than getting together with people who I love, who loved me, and just being in the same room. I don’t care if we’re getting hammered off really good bottles of whiskey, or are sitting there watching a movie together, or are smoking cigars, laughing with my kids, even playing a board game. If everybody loves, and is loved, there truly is absolutely nothing in the world greater than that.
However, when those people who are there do not reciprocate the feelings, or of neither party has those feelings and they were invited as a matter of course, then everything gets twisted into this apocalyptic hellscape where there is no Escape other than the bottom of a bottle, my preferred method of exit, or you simply leave and quit the field.
The absolute worst, is when there is a single sentence uttered. A sentence of malevolence, absolute ignorance, malice aforethought, with absolute maximum intent to harm and damage long-term. Obviously these sentences change based on the parties at hand, but sometimes, sometimes it can be a perfectly innocuous sentence for other people in the room to hear, it hits you so deep, so hard, that all you want to do is cry until the fire of anger is put out. You want to scream until all of the oxygen in the room is gone and all that’s left is a memory of a nightmare.
So we come to the present.
It’s an almost lackadaisical way of thinking of things, a lazy and deliberate way of avoiding the situation at hand. You scream out your hurtful sentence, muttered under your breath, say it with defiant rage, whatever means to an end that you choose. You say it and you feel vindicated in your anger and you have glutted yourself on the emotional negativity that you’ve left behind.
The victim sits back. Eyes glazing over, wondering what they had done to ruin this day. What karmic leap had been made to destroy the harmony that was very obvious up until that moment. Was there a thing I said? Was there something that happened that I wasn’t aware of? I don’t know anymore, I’m not even sure if I want to know anymore. I can damn well tell you that I will have my holidays very regimented now. I will have them very pristine and put in order before I allow a single word to be uttered. Should a word be uttered that is kin to the anger and hate of the word described here, there are far worse things I can do than to say words.
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