Brain Demons


Greetings my Gentle Readers,

It has been a while, hasn’t it? Why? Well, funnily enough, that is precisely what I want to talk about, at least in a massively roundabout manner.

To say I have been swimming in my own head lately is an understatement. Now I am not going to sit and smile and tell you that all the dark thoughts went away for Christmas, I am pretty sure y’all would see through that shit right, quick, and in a big damn hurry. The holidays are always going to have a certain degree of suckage to them for the rest of my life, but I am trying my best to let all the Christmas things happen without grumping about too heavily. Some days are better than others, some weeks are complete losses, but you know, effort is the name of the game.

I have the ideas in my head. I always have and I always will. I have a dozen books and a thousand poems, song lyrics and thoughtful essays on current geopolitical issues. I want to rant and sing and laugh and weep and make all of you do the same thing.

I just can’t.

it happens every now and again, I just, can’t. I try as hard as I can but trying to force creativity is impossible for me. I could no more make myself write something creative as I could walk on the moon to look for cinnamon bears.

Will it come back? I mean, it never has left forever obviously, so the odds are stacked in my favor on this one.

I miss it too. I miss Siobhan and the revelation that is coming, Victoria discovering the truth behind the Great Lie, Vampire councils older than time and all of the rest of them. I miss them because, well, they are mine. I feel them in me wanting to get out and it burns that I can’t let my fingers fly over the keys for them, but I can write this maudlin shit for fucking days.

However, this time, I am not going to do that.

I am not going to go radio silent per se, but I am not going to force it. If it is there I will write, if it is not, a week, a month, will go by and then I will do it again.

Apologize? Sometimes I suppose I would do that here, but this isn’t an act that I have control over, so I am not going to beg for your understanding when I don’t have it myself.
So yeah.

Rawrz, right?

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