You forgot about me and mine on the one day you should have always remembered. You spit on a memory of a love that I know now was never real. It was all a game to you and that, for the rest of my life, I will never be able to forgive you for in any way whatsoever. It is what I will never talk to you again and even thinking of you now gets me upset in the very depths of who I am. You are the anathema of my life, and you will be cast aside into the well of fucking indifference if it takes me the rest of the days of my life.

So instead of focusing on a Betrayer of Love, I will tell you things about my people. I will talk to them in the messages I write, and I hope they see themselves in the representations I choose for them. They are so much more than a set of words, they are the love and power that drives me as a human being. Some of them will have names attached, some of them will have nicknames, some of them will simply be raw and beautiful emotions that I put down and you will see that I am not shy of telling each and every one of my people that I love them and that I love as fiercely as I despise, more so actually.

There are a thousand people who have touched my soul in an ethical and joyous way, and while I would love to talk of them all at once, there is not a realistic way to do that, so I will simply mention a few a day, an homage to the glory and wonder and joy that is them.

What can you say about someone who has literally saved you from yourself more than once? You can say that they have a sharp mind and an ancient soul. You can say that they see the beauty in the world in a way that absolutely no one else does, the raw and pure form that sometimes needs to go through pain before it is purified into the wonder it will become. You are the keeper of the shards, the protector of the giants, the decadent one, the impossible thing, the whisper, the knowing smile.

Diminutive? Perhaps in the minds of those who don’t understand what you do for the world with your love and compassion. Strength and walls of steel you had to build and now, as the two of you slowly build the walls anew, together, I could not be happier for you. You are not afraid of one, you held another before all, you choose when to laugh, and the addiction of it is a tangible thing. You saved me from the pit, you will never be unloved.

Logic can be a neat thing, it can be a distancing thing. Yet, you talk of drums in the dark and the philosophy and emotion twine together and become, well, you. You know the Dark in most of the people you have, you tame it in a way that only you can do, and while it is absolutely terrifying to watch, it is a dance I would never once turn away from.

Like I said, a few a day to make the heart expand in goodness and then, back to the world and it’s humidity spikes, migraine nausea and the ever-present delight of scurrying children that you both want, and do not wish, to step on just so you can hear yourself think.


© 2019, TheJameyBear. All rights reserved.