I can assure you that every one of you who is reading this has heard me talk about my MamaFrog, my Misti. If you have not heard me talk about the woman than you have indeed seen me talk about the Goddess. Siobhan was created because of, and for, Misti. Every single thing that Siobhan is and does is directly related in a tangentially way to her. Each word is carefully chosen, every story meticulously sculpted to make her as happy as possible. True, I write Siobhan because I love to, but if it were not for Misti, she would never have even been a blip in the inner workings of my mind.
It’s funny you know, for a woman I have never met face to face, I love her more than almost anyone on the planet. Misti is the sister I should have had and the sweetest woman you can ever know. She has the voice of an angel and the body of a demon. We are connected on so many levels and there is not one thing I would not do for this woman if she were to pick up the phone and ask. I have known her almost fifteen years now, fifteen years of love and pains for us both and we have always been there for one another.
See, she is My Golden Light.
We have shared dark, dark, days together. I remember verbatim the conversation we had the night my Naomi died. I remember the conversation when her disease left her for another. We never take from the other, never compel the other to accept because it is an automatic thing between us. It is empathy I suppose, but I am no empath like she is. This woman has saved my very life from ending, a common theme you will notice over the next few days, and I am honored to have helped her in the ways that I possibly could over the years.
At a very dark point, long ago, Misti told me to picture a Golden Light surrounding me and that was her. When the Darkness creeps in so close I can taste the foulness of it on my tongue, I see that Golden Light and I know it is then that I will be okay because my Misti is with me and she would never let anything happen to me.
Some ignorant people over the years have derided me for having such a close relationship with someone I have never met. Someone I have pledged life and death for in her protection if need be. They say it is stupid for me to send her Christmas presents because she is taking advantage of me. In this thing you read now, I will explain why those people are so very wrong.
I was sitting on the porch, it was a little after ten I think, everyone had just left and they had kissed and hugged and said they would be back tomorrow. The boys were long asleep and Terry and I were numb from the events of the day. I was chain-smoking and I called Misti, tears in my eyes and sobs in my throat as I heard her beautiful voice. I told her that we had lost Naomi, that she was gone and the sound that came over that telephone was not the noise of someone who did not care, the sounds of someone who wanted things and needed things. The noises over the phone that night were the same agonies my own heart was screaming into the Universe. They were my pains, and because of that they were were hers as well.
I don’t care if I never meet Misti, although I know for a fact I will, because even if I never see her face to face I know I will always tell people that she is one of the only people who has stuck with me no matter how stupid I was being, no matter how distant I had become, no matter what. I have been in a constant state platonic love with MamaFrog since the very first day I met her on a silly message board. She sang to my heart and we have been inseparable since and I can assure that it is not going to change, ever.
I love you so very much my dear sister.
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