See, I Can Still Do It

Well, I have been up a few hours already and it still is just barely after six. My back aches from laying in the wrong position all night and I have this weird pain in my chest that is nothing, yet is being processed as so much more than nothing. I don’t know what this writing will turn into, but I wanted to write this morning, so I am going to go with it until I just don’t anymore.

I think it is important to preface that this is not going to sound like a particularly healthy piece in the mental health sense, but I can assure you that I am in a pretty decent place in that regard. So I apologize for the mixed messages, I think it is the storyteller in me that likes to set up the scene, or maybe I am just an asshole who really doesn’t care when I already have had to change more diapers this morning than I would have preferred to change all day.

For reasons only known to them who asked, I was given the task of reviewing my year. Now, I have no intention of doing that. I will, however, be honest with myself and the people who care for me that read this and tell you that it has been a pretty rough year for me in the mental health sense, I am going to leave that there too because if you know me, you can ask, if you don’t, you won’t, simple as that.

I am sitting here not because I couldn’t sleep, but because I actually got too much. I went to bed super early last night because I was feeling very flu-like and when I woke up close to a dozen hours later, I am doing better in that regard I think, then again I haven’t had anything to eat or drink yet, and that is the test of things right there.

I have been in this sort of self-imposed exile from the world for months now. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t go see my friends, I just sit here and bitch about how much I miss them. In the last few weeks, I have taken some steps to stop that nonsense talk and have seen some of my favorite people because of it. I plan on continuing these steps and hopefully will see all of the people I miss very soon.

However, what I do not plan on continuing is this writing.


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