I don’t really have the drive, desire, or spoons available to write anything at night normally. I always just want to lie down and let my throbbing head throb in the cold and dark of my bedroom. However, a thought occurred to me tonight.

I was watching John Oliver, a episode he did a few weeks back about police reform, and it occurred to me that I used to live in Los Angeles, California. Now when I say I lived in Los Angeles, I don’t mean that I lived in the suburbs, we lived downtown for a couple of years.

I remember the LAPD driving around, handing all of us baseball cards. I’m assuming it was some community outreach thing, or maybe it was just a really nice cop that I just don’t happen to remember seeing constantly. What I do remember, is what was on the back of the baseball cards instead of the statistics that I loved, and still do love, to look at.

What I saw there, was a random police officer, it would give his likes, dislikes, a little like a basic interview format. Nothing important, nothing big.

Except, it kind of was.

Now I’ll be the first one to admit that I could be misremembering this entire thing, but when you are, as I was at the time, five to eight years old, you are highly susceptible to education and propaganda. Your brain is a motherfucking sponge that absorbs information more than life itself. It’s why you start school at that age, it’s why a lot of development happens all at once around that age.

So, I’m sitting here 35 years later realizing that they were handing us baseball cards with the baseball player that we all idolized on one side and an LAPD officer on the other. Now, call me a little jaded my old age, but I have a feeling that we were supposed to associate one with the other.

I may be talking out of my ass here, I understand that, I recognize that.

I remember my favorite baseball player when I was a kid was Eddie Murray. Eddie Murray played first base for the Dodgers and he was my fucking hero. We used to chant his name when we went up to Chavez Ravine to watch the Dodgers play live,and when he did anything, every kid in the goddamn stadium would go insane.

I’m not going to say that I remember the name of the police officer that was on the back of his card, but I remember it was a very tall white guy, and the reason I remember he was very tall, was because he was standing next to his police car, and the roof of it had to have hit him just about at the waist, again childhood embellishment notwithstanding.

So, were the children of the Los Angeles Police Department’s area of influence brainwashed to believe that the hero’s they saw in baseball players should be associated with those who protect and serve?

I am not smart enough to answer this question, I am just the old guy laying in bed with a migraine who had an idea and likes to write in a little blog.

Question everything Gentle Readers, nothing is for free, not even a baseball card.

I Have Noticed I Have Written Several Times On Why I Hate Grocery Shopping. You Would Think I Would Learn.

So, storytime didn’t happen yesterday. It will today.

First I have to tell you about shopping in the apocalypse.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a well-stocked store considering the circumstances. Except for a single thing, I got everything I wanted to get and even found some treats to buy to calm everyone’s nerves a bit.

What I did not expect, and perhaps this is on me, is the blatant stupidity shown by every single group of people I saw in there. I am not just saying that they did some stupid things, no, these fucking people are going to be plague spreaders, are, well, they already are.

The first thing that got to me was the disparity between who was wearing the masks and who wasn’t. Now, I saw a lot of elderly people wearing them, and according to all I know, if anyone that isn’t medical personnel is supposed to be wearing them, the elderly should as they are the group that is most at risk from this entire thing.


The teenagers were the ones that pissed me off the most. First, they were simply wearing the masks at all. Of course, ALL of them could have been immunocompromised, this is true, but the odds that the two dozen or so I saw wearing the masks, one in a full set of medical scrubs, being in such a category is, and please correct me if I am wrong, statistically very unlikely. You have it hammered into your head, correctly I may add, that the masks should only be used by individuals within a specific group and then you see some jerk-fuck kid walking around buying three baskets full of beef jerky and Mountain Dew. It angers I say, it angers.

Secondly, and vastly more importantly, were the number of people who were ill that were there. I am not a doctor, I am not going to tell you what they did or did not have, what I do know is that a supermarket should not sound like a tuberculosis ward at any point. These people would cough into the wind and it just bugged me. There is a reason I had a panic attack the entirety of the time I was in there.

Lastly was the pharmacy. I had to go and pick up things for my migraines, my seizures, my anxiety, my depression and whatever that little orange pill does. I knew there would be a line, I was okay with that. People were lined up at roughly six-foot intervals and all was well there. The pharmacist and pharmacy tech were disinfecting everything after every customer.

Two people before me, some asshole who maybe came up to my navel barges through, laser sights on, reaches over the woman at the counter and the pharmacist and just yanks the hand sanitizer, the one that the pharmacy has there to, you know, use and shit, and walks off like he was the king of the world. Mind you he was met presently by some employees of some kind who kindly escorted him to parts unknown, but come on man, fuck off with that shit.

I understand the fear and even a little paranoia, but there is no reason this de-evolution of the species has to happen. None.

Maybe I am finally just old and don’t like shit anymore. I don’t know.