Protests? Really? How FUCKING STUPID Are You?

I don’t really want to write, but I feel the need to speak on something that is both terrifying and enlightening to me.

I had to go out today to pick up the Elder Duck’s medicine and since Wegmans is the pharmacy I use, I thought I might as well do a few little things shopping. Protein, coffee creamer, that kind of stuff.

Now, I wouldn’t have gone out at all if I didn’t need to go to the pharmacy, but since I had to, I figured the whole two birds with a big rock thing was happening.

I was amazed and horrified I guess.

For starters, no, I am not going to talk shit about Wegmans, mostly because there is nothing that I saw that made me mad. They had social distancing cues so set it was insane. They had sanitizer available at the door and pretty much begged you to use it before you came into the store. The aisles were fully stocked, there was no panic buying going on and, since I live in New York and there is a mandatory order to wear masks in public, everyone was wearing one of various efficacy, but that is for another thing. I don’t have a mask proper, so I did the whole bandana thing, it was good enough for what it did.

It was spotless in there. There were people waiting to sanitize essentially anything you touched and they did, often.

So Wegmans gets the big upward-facing thumb from the Bear.

Want to know what scared me, like, actually frightened me a little bit?

I walked around and I saw all these people doing PRECISELY what they were asked to do for public health by the Governor of the state and then I remembered the Adderall sniffing Orange Shit Gibbon who is in charge of the company and I shivered because if it were his choice, which all thanks to the Great Goddess it isn’t, we would all be doing all the things, all the time.

Fuck That.

I know people who have been exposed. I know people who have been tested. I know people who have families who are infected.

This isn’t the Governor telling you that you have to wear a green shirt on Wednesdays, this is an order that is there to make sure LESS PEOPLE DIE.

So yeah, I am behind the Governor. No, I do not like that I have to do it, I am not supposed to like it. I am supposed to do it, and not get myself or anyone else sick because of it.

Accept this and stop fucking protesting.

A Little Later In The Morning We Find Our Main Character Doing The Same Thing He Had Done Hours Before, Just With More Background Noise To Add Dice To His Sanity Check.

A few hours, a weird nap, a diaper change for the little guy and a lot of 90’s trance music later, I return fresh and caffeinated with a thought of something interesting.

Seeing as my kind apparently goes to a school that defies gubernatorial orders and is off next week, in addition to being able to write more things it has just occurred to my minuscule piece of gray matter than I will be able to at least attempt to sleep threefold as long as I am now. I probably won’t succeed, but that isn’t the point is it? The effort put into the thing counts. If I can even lay there awake and gt my brain focused that cuts down on all kinds of pain later int he day when I am foggy and out of sorts and the like. While not El Dorado, it is a pretty decent boon nonetheless.

I am going to immediately, upon conclusion of this, add to the series I have started, namely The Card and The Leader with at least one one-off story thrown in there because my brain doesn’t feel like a pool of mushy goo right now and I can express the innermost desires of my Id to the world in the form of badly contrived and barely concealed metaphorical stories.

Or something like that at least.

So, I am sitting here listening to some heavy techno music. Why? It is easily available on Spotify and repeat is my friend when I want to do the writing things and, importantly, it drowns out the bad choice of buying my Elder Duck Call Of Duty because he has, truly, been awesome the last few weeks during all of this. I am not worried about the differentiating thing some parents think about or the evil bad bad others do. Nope, it is just fucking loud as hell so I just need to make my music louder which, in case any of you have forgotten, techno will always win at.

I have a little dude neatly curled into a serpentine ball at my feet staring at the Universe and happily doing nothing at all, poised to strike in an instant the moment coffee is needed and he can tail me and “help” me with the said procedure. The variant of help he provides is counting, meticulously, the amount of anything and everything I can possibly do while I am in the kitchen. I must admit when I am in there with him and I don’t hear certain numbers I actually question and see if I have done all the steps I am supposed to have done to make said coffee in the most palatable and delicious ways.

The rest of the house, and in fact most likely a decent chunk of the Eastern Seaboard, lay in sleep still. The traffic flows interrupted by the pandemic and the cycle of noise around the entire globe awkwardly skipping a beat these last few weeks and the next few months to come. I suppose the hippie in me is happy that we are dumping less of this, that and the other thing into the oceans or into the air, but there is also the pragmatic part of me who wonders all sorts of things about economic backlash and the inevitability of depression-like measures.

However, I shall not let that cloud over my day. I have my babies with me, we are all healthy and at this point, nothing is more important than that single fact.

Stay safe, #StayTheFuckAtHome.

The Mind Of An Introvert In Consensual, Non-Consensual, Social Isolation – Day The Tuesday

I had to go out today. Well, I mean, I didn’t but I did. I went to CVS with Terry to get prescriptions and while I was there I might have bought $40 worth of candy, that I then totally wiped down and sterilized as soon as I got home, then repeated the procedure on myself.

After this, if there is an after this, if I ever see a goddamn baby wipe that isn’t being used to wipe a fucking baby I am going to make it scream in pain like the ashen palms of my hands are screaming as we speak.

A weird sentence I know.

You will note the longer I am in the same house with my children I will become more and more prolific in my writing until a point where I cannot promise that food and water will be as important to me as the tactile orgasm of this little wireless keyboard I have sitting on top of the dead keyboard on this busted ass laptop.

I love my children and them being home is not the issue, not at all. Shit, if you know me at all you know I keep[ my Ducks home too much rather than the other way around. No, the issue is that it is all forced like this.

Now I am not saying we should leave the house, because fuck and that, #StayTheFuckHome.

No, I agree with all of the restrictions if it keeps my Ducks even the most minute amount safer during all of this. Yes, it is inconvenient and annoying to everyone. Yes, I know we are in an economic tailspin, but how are we supposed to be not those things if enough of us get this thing where it is 30, 40, 50 percent unemployment for two decades until the age gap closes again?

I am drinking too much coffee, emotionally eating way too much food and going to bed too late and not getting a lick of sleep until way too early in the morning. It makes for long days, trying days, annoying days.

However, I, like many of you, know someone who has to work in all of this chaos. I know nurses who I cannot imagine are anything short of both terrified and fucking superheroes. Mothers who are so scared they are brave, fathers who are trying everything they can to assuage fears they feel just as strongly.

It can always get fucking worse.

Or, if you are of a slightly Jesus tilt, just remember the old adage. “There but for the Grace of God, go I.” Savor the sweet moments, be strong through the roughest waves, be kind and compassionate to those who do not have the ability to sit at home and work and, most importantly.

Remember this was, at least in part, avoidable and get your ass out to the polls in November, even if you do have to be six feet apart still.

I Am Rather Proud Of That Last Sentence

Normally I would write about the hypocrisy of the Church on one of its most popular “Let’s Celebrate Ethnic Cleansing” days, but the situation being what it is, I will have to pass that honored tradition on to others this year. I think I will spend a few, too few I’m afraid, minutes telling you why I am absolutely terrified nearly every waking moment of the day as of late, and why sleeping has become more of a challenge than a scheduled activity I actively participate it.

I am not afraid of catching the virus, me and mine are practicing social distancing and proper hygiene to make sure the things we may come in contact with do not hurt us as much as they could without these steps. We are #StayingTheFuckHome and not doing anything other than testing how much mileage I can really get from my Netflix subscription during the crisis at hand.

No, why I am scared is because of the rather dystopian, lackadaisical, and idiotic response the federal government of the country I live in has put forth so far. From denial to blatant racism, trying to buy a company working on a vaccine to every other stupid thing that the Trump administration has done and not done. No, no I don’t think I could do better, but yes, yes I do expect the people who run the country I am in to do a whole hell of a lot better than they have been as of yet, don’t you?

More so than Captain SqueezyCheese I am scared because there are pictures of THOUSANDS of people going to the beach. FUCKING THOUSANDS. I don’t know if they are aware, but thousands are generally accepted to be a large gathering of people in the common lexicon and they are going to kill people with the delightful excuse of, “Well, it isn’t going to hurt me.” No, no it very well might not. It might hurt my children, some of my best and closest humans though. I mean, that doesn’t matter because it isn’t you, right?

Hubris is defined as excessive pride or self-confidence. For all of those hip-deep in the ocean with the other plague bearers, I am pretty sure that they will put respiratory or pulmonary failure as your cause of death, but hubris is what it would truly be if the world were just, you narrow-minded, self-centered, sociopathic fucknoodle.

Stay The Fuck Home

It is the first day out of what most likely be a great many with my Ducks home from school. I could say they are getting on my nerves because of course, they are, but I can also guarantee that they would say that I am getting on theirs. This is a new thing we are all trying to squeeze ourselves into and it will be a while before the growing pains settle down a bit and we can all relax and get into a rhythm.

Elder Duck has remote school starting tomorrow morning, so that will help as he will essentially be gone for the entire time he normally would be, just upstairs instead of at school. I am sure there will be massive hiccups there too, but again, as long as we wait it out, the pain will stop and we will get to be where we want to be.

I, as I am sure you, have seen all of the memes telling the world that Introverts have been training for this since birth and, not gonna lie, some of them are funny as hell. I despise leaving my house when I don’t have to, but the one time someone tells me I shouldn’t leave my house is when my legs get itchy for somewhere to do and something to do.

Social Distancing, which I am sure will be a very hated word by a great many for years to come, is the only way that we can make sure the peak infections are spread out over a longer period. Yes, I am fortunate enough to know a wonderful scientist who did graduate work in Virology and I actually know that little thing as a fact, but think about it logically for a second and it is very easy to understand.

Everyone is out by toilet paper, toilet paper is gone, people go without.

Now simply apply that scenario to ICU beds, or respirators or any other medical equipment and you see that there is a significant issue in the world today and by literally doing nothing, staying home when we are able and maintaining distance, we are helping t make sure that the medical system can last for longer than the toilet paper did.

It isn’t precisely rocket science people.